Dear Havoc,

My favorite furry friend,
my flat-faced, extra snorty, wrinkly-butted companion:

I am so sorry you don't like the carpet. I know it is a bland off-white color, and I know you don't have apposable-thumbs. You did your best this morning to try and change it to what you prefer, a darker brown. I appreciate the effort, but vomitting 8 times at 4am isn't the best way to get the job done. I don't think the apartment workers will appreciate it either come moving time. Luckily they clean the carpets no matter what, but I don't think that's the important part.

Next time, could you just ask me? That's what rugs are for!

Thank goodness for air fresheners,

Love-
Julie